Its necessary to lose when fight is with loved ones. And to win when fight is with oneself.

It’s a long message of explanation.. I am gaining again on this lost habit and you know what.. I am enjoying this what once I hated (fight).
Back then I believed the soul is synced with nature.. and the journey of life is travelled on this flesh and bone body.
And that everything which you lose was actually not lost but your relationship with it got completed. It’s not over but completed.
It could be a thing, a tree, a dog, business, love, ambitions.

I don’t want to write anything and yet it already has 100 words.
My peace is if you hear what I am writing. It would be if our argument or fight settles. My peace is if you can listen to me.

But after that angerful abrupt stop, derogatory killing each other’s feelings.. a black silence circled me. I was seeing things in my space.. but real was as blur as thoughts are.
I was on top of an unpleasant, sad and heat-hatred-full storm inside me.
And then on this peak I missed your presence, that it is always you who absorbs the heat and negativity out of me.
That you always hold my hand when it shivers, that you always hug me when I am not in control and that you always hold my deformation with that gaze of emotions.

That’s where this storm starts to drop.
And I realize that my peace is in your serainity.
That’s where I remember back that I love you.

It’s a bliss in my heart. Though we are not talking, but I overcome a bad in me.
I can see that I have done the simplest of things in our relationship such as saying ‘I love you’ and ‘I am sorry’.
I now realise how hard it is to promise alone that our relationship will be alright.
How hard it is to balance yourself when I leave your side.
How hard it is to simply smile.. hiding that enfinite weight inside your heart.

I find my ‘punching wall’ courageous attitude puny here.
It is really very hard for me.. drifting in these unrecoverable worries. Which I realise that you always overcome alone.

More than love, I respect you for the strength you have.
I need strength ‘to accept’ and you and you alone can teach me.

If you want to talk to me, I am here.
If you don’t want to talk to me, I will stay here forever.